Many people in the Church are lonely. My realization of this marked a climax in my perspective of relationship.
One of such occasions I was engaged impromptu on relationship discussion with serious questions that needed a logical explanation.
I visited a friend that day after a long Time of not seeing each other; even though we were in the same school community, same faculty and most times the same auditorium. And guess what, it was my fault. It was a time when the only thing I wanted to hear is God…missions, fellowship and at most; to ‘Jack’.
As it turned out to be that day, while I stood with her and she made her complaints of how I was avoiding and keeping her in an arms length… Outlining that I do not have value for friendship either do seem to know its importance…
Unfortunately, while I tried to explain things to her and calm her down, a sister that is also very close to me (prayed together, gone to missions together…) was approaching. As she drew close, she added more tempo to the topic with her question. while I turned to greet her, she asked me ‘ is she a CASORite… I was dumbfounded but I tried to respond by asking her if it was only CASORites that I was allowed to stand with.
With this question, she was already in the conversation as the other friend took over exclaiming that the sister is correct as beside my fellowship people I don’t seem to have other friends and no one else seems to matter to me. Every other person is either worldly or is not a believer.
At this point, I didn’t know what to say. She is winning the case.
Yet, as if that was not enough, the sister took over from her; explaining that even in the fellowship, we end up being heralded with everybody, and most times non is truly our friend.
She continued by telling us her case, how after five years in the school community, there is no one person she could mention as a friend she could call on for help and be certain of a positive response. As things were, that day she was on a task to transfer her loads from one hostel to another; as it was a new session.
I understood their reasoning and I went out full of thought and questions in my heart. I was set to give it an all end and liberal analysis. Thus, the following thought and reasoning were the aftermath of my conclusion:
There Is a Friend that Sticks Closer
In as much as pairing is not a Christian character, inside a crowd of People/brethren one cannot successfully be friends at the same tempo with everyone. Like our master, Jesus who had the crowd but further was closer to the seventy-two, even much closer to the twelve and in the twelve had His three(Peter James and John), yet in the three, He had HIs one. So also is it necessary that we should deliberately define our friends. Loving as it is a debt we owe everyone but building friendshipwith those who are of likeminded.
The Best way to make friends is to be a friend
Behaving oneself friendly entails being approachable, focusing on others, listening to another, helping others meet their needs, etc. Someone is behaving himself friendly when one is in agreement with; Colossians 3:12-14:-
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Quality Time Together
Any friendship that will survive outside the crowd and over a distance must be one that had been deliberately cultivated. With times spent together and moments created together.
Two is Better Than One
I started by writing or thinking friendship but in the course, I discovered that it’s not just about friends but about people, we need people in our lives, there are people we also owe to be in their life as a responsibility. One way the devil starts defeating us is to make us think we can stand alone, especially when we are frustrated and disappointed by people. Surely, we should not put our trust on people but we should not quit on people too. There are matters that God expects us to exert group muscles.
Humans are the most valuable investment
Building in people either as sons, daughters, friends, partners, mentors, etc is the most adorable thing to do.
Everyone Desires and Deserves to be Shown Love
Love is needed by all. Learn it anywhere (among peers), take it to the grassroots (grandparents ). Love when shown to parents gives them more reasons to live. Show it to children: they grow stronger. Show it to an unbeliever: they get interested and wants to know better. Show it to a believer: they let you see their tender sides. We all need a bit more love.
Love is define in its expression
Love is meant to be given an expression without assuming that the other party is aware. Love is just a word until someone gives it meaning as is in Romans 5:8 or John 15:12-15.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
Relationship Deserves to be Valued
Friends must learn to esteem their reasons for coming together/becoming friends/that made them friends than that that may /want(s) to separate them.
Singles at Heart
Some paradigms like ‘what are you doing in that relationship if marriage is not the purpose’ and the act of getting jealous of our friends having other friends’ is rather wrong.
We can be in friendship with a ‘single heart’ that’d be my prescription for Christian relationship. For instance; If it is a Christian relationship, my friends are my friends even after they’re married. Knowing that the fact that someone is your Destiny partner does not mean the person is your life partner.
True friends are as well as Destiny partners. They don’t walk out the door when things get tough, rather they pour more coffee and pull up a chair.
Blessings in Relationship
Christian relationship is truly a blessing from God. How wonderful it is When you find one who sticks to you as close a brother. We should look out for the people God wants to bless us within every environment we go to.
Last WordsSpirituality is better expressed in sharing the love than in sharing rhema.
In all you do, endeavor to do it in love.