WHEN, AND WHAT SHOULD I TEACH MY DAUGHTER ABOUT RELATIONSHIP? A Father’s Evening Chatt With His Daughter

Interlude

This a lesson shared by a father with his daughter in an attempt by the father to providing a complete guide to his daughter in crucial issues about Christian relationship. It’s an evening chart that followed the daughter’s curiosity having read his father’s many previous articles on Christian relationship matters.

After reading his last article

Daughter: I Read it. Is So touching. Well done sir.
Father: Thanks, dear!
Daughter: I love the picture! (Father added a picture of him and her in the last article)
Father: 😁😁
Father: What do you like about it? Daughter: The wonderful memories! Father: Ok! Was thinking it’s because you are one of my close friends as depicted in that picture.
Daughter: One of the reasons though. Father: Laughing. I love you shaaa. You are a good girl.

Relationship Cautions for a Growing up Ladies

Father: Am only not used to relating with growing up ladies. Because one would have to be careful of everything he does to avoid instilling unnecessary emotions.
Daughter: Thanks.
Father: But I think I have tried to relate with you and is not that bad. Daughter: One thing I’ve learned to put in check is my emotions and trust me am doing a good job. At this point in my life, it should never take the lead.
Father: Naturally I like to relate with people who are accountable to their actions. Who their self-control is guaranteed. So that whatever I may say jokingly or seriously, their responses and actions will be in their charge.
Daughter: That’s good.

Combining Spirituality and Christian Relationship

Daughter; Although while you were here in school, it didn’t look like you could relate with anyone.
Father: Really!
Daughter: Yea.
Father: I had friends. But friendship was not the primary thing.
Daughter: You were looking like one of those brothers that believed that every lady is projected to make them backslide.
Father: Really!
Father: All the sister’s books I was always reading kwanu!
Daughter: Was like to equip yourself on how to understand their tactics. Father: Hahaha! So I could fight them well (jokingly).
Daughter: Lol! Yes now.

Effect of Personality in Relationship Expression

Father: Well I actually grew up not having much to do with ladies. Somewhat shy And always uncomfortable being close to them. Father: Like my secondary school was boys only.
Father: when I entered the University of Nigeria Nsukka, I had a friend in my first year. She was simply patient with me because I was always acting ridiculous.
Father: That was the friend I described in this ARTICLE (referring to the last article).
Father: Our friendship was not serious in any way though it carried some emotional distractions. Daughter: Eyaaa! I can imagine. Father: I also made friends in CASOR UNN. Actually, none was serious as my first year was full of jarking.
Father: But I made two important friends albeit from CASOR UNN. The two of them still remained my friends now- Irem and Esele. Though Esele was my FBC mentor, we had all the five years together. I like to refer to people as a friend, so we were good friends, too.
Daughter: Nice! But you know sometimes it’s not about the friends one has but your dispositions sometimes. Just like the brother I and M, I don’t think they have close female friends but I won’t say. And many others like that.
Father: Maybe because in keeping friends among brethren you have to be mature about it. All had friends, though may not be a serious one. But everyone knows very well in relating to everyone same way. So one would not in any way say who is and who is not your friends.
Father: Those dispositions most times are natural, like when someone is shy. Everyone is not social. Shyness added to spirituality becomes a spiritual swag. Do not be confused by peoples dispositions, everyone desires and responds to love.
Father: that friend in the first year, When I became the assistant prayer secretary, I had to tell her that I may not be calling her again ooh- blablabla. And she was just laughing, She was like have u married? She was that funny and joke with everything. Well in my final year I had to get in touch with her again. Because in CASOR one in the final year is allowed to make friends.
Daughter: Lol! You are funny ooh, You paused the friendship till after service.
Father: Because she was that unprovokeable. And we always greeted well but I don’t call her and all that…
Father: She is married now. We are still friends though I could not go to her wedding in Lagos.
Daughter Eyaaa! That’s nice. Actually, I started up like that, my Mum would always an emphasis on the purity of a woman and how guys can be dangerous. In my secondary school, I was so careful, before I ask for a pen from a guy then know I’ve asked from all the girls in the class and none had. I could stay a session without talking with any guy. I continued like that in university. Currently, I can count the guys I talk to in my class and on many occasions I would walk past them without a Hi. But am consciously trying to change.
Father: Is not too bad. Early in life, one Need to be more careful Because most times in peoples memory, They have more haunting experience in Father of sexuality than in their adulthood.
Father: So one deserves enough cover until one is qualified to grow out of something (being a child) and grow into another (maturity).
Father: Then I had other friends too (continues). In sowers: But none was serious, non was beyond the fieldwork. Because I don’t easily like people rather it just happens naturally.
Father: I had friends like Happiness, Blessing… But all this were purely brothers and sisters affairs, there was nothing personal.
Father: But in my final year, I had one of my major friendship With Beuderah.
Father: Beuderah is one of those ladies that look so spiritual and appear like it will not be possible to be their friends.
Daughter: Asin eeh!
Daughter: One of my hall pastors wanted to resign due to her queries. Father: I had little to do with her initially though. I served as Sowers president two times. In my first turn, she was in the leadership and she was always adding to the challenges; does not come for meeting and… So I didn’t really like her then. But over time in CASOR I got closer to her and I liked her passion, and her sense of reasoning too. I also like her stubborn part, and her composure/maturity. Between the fourth year to the final year, we had a lot together. So sometimes I think she is my best friend in school because I learned a lot from her.
Daughter: Actually most people that are hard and tough on the outside have a wonderful side.
Father: ya.

What a Daughter Should Know

Father: However, I started talking about the Christian relationship of recent. It’s just like a year project for me. Is not like something I did too well Or something am mad about. Am only trying to make a write up on it. Father: So let me end by saying
  • Ladies take guys word too seriously. Guys can say something now and tomorrow they’ve forgotten; Especially when under influence. Though they are not like ladies that are influenced by biological cycles They still have their own cycle_like success, failure, happy mood, loneliness(especially), crisis and idleness too.                        Daughter: So true
  • Someone can pray for oneself; I used to pray and try to be friends to people like they are my siblings. And learn to feel free when people say words like: ‘I love you’. Just say ThANK YOU, That’s one way to show is nothing. To say I love You actually is nothing is just because we are in an African setting. Daughter: Yes ooh! Our society made it so as you say.             Father: When one loves YOU he goes beyond the words to make it work. Love is meant to be expressed and not merely confessed. However when ladies say I ‘love you’. It means a lot so they hardly say it.
  • Life of relationship is like a Ladder, Everyone is trying to reach up. So the realities that Someone will be aiming to have the expression of his love accepted by another somewhat higher While someone somewhere lower is wishing to have him take his love expression. The implication of this is on the ladies whose integrity it is to say yes. A lady must not give herself cheaply to any guy… That does not imply doing preventive shakara. But it does mean not falling for a guy/putting your heart in it until he proves and makes it work.

BYE

Father: Hie! Thank you for staying and reading. I love you.
Daughter: Thank you so much It was worthwhile.
Father: See you next time. Have a good night rest.
Daughter: Same here. Byeeeee😊
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