It’d become obvious that advises on making Godly homes are often behooved around the ladies; the women. Why? If half of the marriage counsel the churches gives to ladies are given to brothers, many Christian homes would be a perfect Bliss. In all ramifications, it does seems that the churches don’t have enough scheme for the brothers. As such, they make much emphasis on the ladies even in issues that men are a central player. For instance, homemaking is common with women, but homemaking is also the responsibility of men too, and even much more than it is of the women.
From whose hand is compromise often required?
More dazzling on this matter is in the aspect of Compromise.
In the past dispensation, the scenario for role definition was that of the man being often in the war-front, fighting to secure the territory(2sameul 11: 1). Or the King in the palace with the elders, busy making decisions to push the kingdom forward. While the woman stays back to tend the home. (Prov 31:). Even older than this is the earlier primitive dispensation of hunter-gatherer societies, where men hunt and women stay at home. But in this current dispensation of career women, we have a scenario where the women also foot in the war-front responsibilities.
So, many Christians have began to reason it right that the presence and person of the man be reckoned also for a successful Christian homes. Thus, this had called for a redefinition on concepts like the man as breadwinner (1 Timothy 5:8). Also on the woman in building her home as in Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
When it comes to compromise, especially on such matters as balancing work with family, it seems to be often assumed that it’s expected mostly from the women. Perhaps, this is because many times compromise have been defined as; who, in a family of career couples should quit his/her job or reduce the career engagement he/she undertakes in order to cater more for the family. Or from whose side is decorum expected to make for a good couple in-law relationship. The answers had often trended one-sided probably because we have yet to think of compromise way-way away from a man entering the kitchen or helping to make the napkins. We have not weighed every role of the woman in the light of the helpmates. Everything the woman does still amount to help. Even in the kitchen, the man is the central player.
The role of the man in making a Christian home needs to be outlined in the right light. Which is the focus of this article; to outline key roles of the man in raising a Godly home.
The Roles of Men in HomeMaking
A man most importantly shows leadership in stepping forward to handle dicy situation when they arise. Besides the leadership/headship as defined for man in1 Timothy 3; 5 which specifically says, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”
And, Ephesians 5:21-24 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” Again, in 1 Corinthians 11:3, Scripture says, “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
Picking out Leadership as a primary role for man, which have been very much emphasized. The other roles for man include;
2. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
The man is the author and designer of whose hand that compromise would be expected. Even when it is expected of the woman, it is the responsibility of the man to have the woman do that in her integrity. The man makes leads in decision making and responsibility allocations with a positive quality of decisiveness, strength in convictions, confidence, self-reliance, high moral qualities, self-discipline, honesty, and integrity.
It is of the man to provide her with every reason, explanations, knowledge, and values, thus having her informed towards making her decisions. Especially, those involving compromise like: the husband explaining to be the breadwinner alone, even when the husband’s income exceeds the needs for clothing, shelter, and recreation for both of them. When there are a loggerhead and distraction with the arrival of new kids and the careers keep calling. Especially if the husband’s income is not sufficient to meet their needs. This is because, It is the honor of a woman in her integrity to be given every explanation until she is cleared, certified and willing to admit so…This the man would do in lieu with the other roles described below.
3. Cultivating The Home
The destiny of every home is in the hands of the couple. God created man with an inherent authority or power and created the woman with influence inherent in her. It is necessary for the man to build dignity and honor around the woman. It is of the man to cultivate and drive the influence of his wife towards actualizing the divine purpose. This he does by developing her, inculcating in her his values, goals, and dreams, letting her know his God’s given visions. It is these values she is developed with that she would execute on the household.
A very good example on cultivating the woman’s influence is seen in the Bible book of John chapter four. About Jesus conversation with the woman of Samaria. Jesus saw in her an influence He needed to reach out to Samaria. He first cultivated it in her before releasing her to execute it. This is the same case with the proverb 31 woman, her husband; the king cultivated her influence and released her. We see remarks of proverb 31:11; The heart of her husband trusted in her, and he shall have no lack of gain. Emphasize on the he and see that the man is central.
The same explanation goes for why the serpent succeeded in deceiving the woman. It is well known that men change their mind easily than women. But why then did the devil choose Eve and not Adam. The reason is clear, it was to the man that God gave the instruction. Adam did not play his part to have Eve buy into the vision. It is the role of a man to sow in the heart of his wife his dreams seeds and water it sufficiently until the dreams is aflame with convictions in her heart. Thereafter, a millionth devil will not be able to deceive her.
Until a woman is cultivated this way, she would be a weak link to the divine purpose meant for the family. At this point, the woman is not wise enough to build her home (Prov 14:1), and the man cannot trust her with it like the proverb 31 man.
The fruit of a good biblically-based husband is a strong, confident, spiritually mature family.
In the various forms of parenting portrayed in the Bible, we see the Bible requiting the responsibility, accolades and consequences of family matters on the men. We have the very case of Eli where his permissive parenting led to a grave consequence to his home. We have the case of King David, whose uninvolved approach to parenting resulted in crisis and strife from his own offsprings. Likewise, the authoritarian style of king Saul; with it’s attended result of crisis and lack of peace in his home.
Also, we see the Mordecai’s influencing approach in teaching Esther, with it’s attendant result, which is mindblowing and revolutional.
Not forgetting the roles of some women in keeping track of the divine’s plan for their children. But closely around these women, we would often see their husband. And God carries both along in the vision. A very good example is the case with the Virgin Mary; how God had to reveal the vision in full to Joseph the carpenter. The church needs to see this mutual role and teach the man in the same details as with the woman.
We speak of a loving father, in the mind when we talk of a caring mother. So,
whether a man would wake up the kids, get them in clothes, feed them breakfast, drive them to school, shoppes for dinner, pick the kids up from school, do the laundry, cook dinner, washes the dishes, plays with and read to kids before bathing them and putting them to bed-Is all finely carried out in an act of love. Whereas a mother executes those in an act of caring.
There is a growing pressure on men to increase their participation in home life. As more and more women, particularly the mothers of young children, enter the work force, there appears to be greater need for men to contribute to the arts of home making. This would be very easy to define once the church is able redefine the process in assigning male -female role. Especially by redefining and paying attention to the role of men as she does for the women’s.