This article is an extension to my previous article on building trusting relationships.
There are three virtues that form the pods upon which every lasting relationship is built. They are:
These virtues are all indispensable but not all equally important.
Inarguably, Biblical LOVE; agape love, is the most important because it believes all things and honors others. As we read in Paul’s letter to the Corinthians quoted in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7which reads thus;
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
But from a general point of view, the Love of day to day experience is rather the least of the three pods.
LOVE IN RELATIONSHIP
Biblical love is not much as an emotional disposition as it is of charitable kindness. It is volitional and not emotional by source. This is why love is always in the verb form and not often in the noun form. Whenever it came in the noun form, disaster always followed.
Surely, this is not what obtains in our day to day relationship experience which is more of erotic and philia. Analyzing these three with a general perspective, therefore; without spiritualizing the matter, it is clear that love is the least of these three virtues.
Many relationships with love as it’s root have collapsed more often. Other times, relationships initiated by love had failed; mostly, after growing voilent because of lack of RESPECT and TRUST.
RESPECT IN RELATIONSHIP
Emphasis on respect is not to the women alone. Though, you can be sure that nothing will destroy a relationship more quickly than a disrespectful woman. See details on my previous article: when men quit.
Meanwhile, equally as hurting as a disrespectful and unsubmissive woman is a harsh and brutal man. Thus, mutual respect is crucial for a lasting relationship.
TRUST IN RELATIONSHIP
But the real relationship killer is the lack of trust. Trusting in others faithfulness, trusting in others visions, dreams, and expectations. Trusting in each other’s word, promises, and actions. Trusting each other in all the spheres of life in the now and for the future. Is all quintessential.
Faith is the foundation of any relationship that will last; whether human relationships or business relationships.
TRUST IS THE GREATEST
One could work with those who do not love them and those who do not respect them. But it is very difficult to stay with those who do not trust one. Same way, one could easily respect those who show disrespect to them and love those who hate them. But it is very difficult to trust those who distrust one.
If this then is the case, it means that trust is everything in a relationship. The day trust goes, the relationship vanishes to the thin air.
Etiquette and Lessons to Implement
- Everything must be done to keep faith in a relationship. The partners involved in a relationship must live in a way as to avoid suspicion. Because it is a suspicion that births the dearth of trust.
- The spirit of the ‘jealousness‘ must be dealt a death blow. Jealousy here is purposely in the quote in order to separate it from the list of the works of the flesh for now. It is common to have people say stuff like ‘ I am the jealous type’. They say it even proudly like jealousy is one of the gifts or the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Make deliberate efforts to Avoid jealousy. Since jealousy is never productive or contributory in building a lasting relationship. It will only grieve the other party who often feels being suspected for unfaithfulness. Jealousy sends a signal of distrust and creates an environment of mutual suspicion. When acting jealous, one unconsciously turns into a monitoring spirit which will consequently demonize the other fellow.
- Biblically, there’s no LOVE without RESPECT and TRUST. That is; respect and trust are immersed in love. AS we see in 1 Corinthians 13 quoted above; Love is patient with each other, and is kind; is not puffed up, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; believeth all things, etc. So, love each other, respect each other, equally trust each other.
1 Corinthians 13:13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Can we now render this verse thus:
And this three remains, love, respect, and trust but the greatest is TRUST.
Having noted that love embodies respect and trust.