Leading a satisfactory discussion in a Christian relationship can be quite an art that requires deliberate acts.

While one may enjoy unlimited satisfaction conversing with some categories of their close ones, there are often the other categories where the words and stuffs to talk about seem to cease. And these categories are often the ones we would have wanted to spend the whole day conversing with. For instance, discussions between two new friends, or conversations with one’s significant other, etc.


  1. Imagine going out on a date, but the moment’s gets bored by lack of stuffs to share.
  2. Has it ever occurred to you, how soon the stuffs you want to talk about gets exhausted before you say JACK?
  3. Or you have sat besides someone for a significant duration without a Hi?
  4. You might have watch people talk for good durations and you wondered; what in goodness sake are they talking about?
  5. Guys or Ladies, who talks more in a relationship and who should often lead the discussion?


Primarily, being a great conversationalist in the Christian relationship sense requires the playing of some of these factors below;

  • Degree of conformity; imagine speaking to one that always wears a spiritual demeanor, and you are the keep it simple type.
  • Level of intimacy or Degree of exposure with one another.
  • Past experience with each other; especially, presence of crisis and reconciliation could increase the state of carefulness exhumed in your choice of words.
  • Presence of concepts or fields of mutual interest.
  • Moments and times shared; The more two people share in a novel and challenging activity, the greater the feeling of freeness.
  • The rate at which you reason along each other; whether you are likeminded.
  • Sameness or the level of difference in class, exposure, and professions.
  • Degree of freedom defined and established, and the existing defined and undefined boundaries.
  • Undefined expectation for a given relationship.
  • The need for the conversation; a conversation born out of a specific need is easy to lead, while a friendship conversation born out of reasons like checking-on another could be quite dead ended.

Conversations in Christian relationships as addressed here is beyond being an extrovert or introvert. It is also beyond being a conversationalist. There are key Christian values that having in view and being cautious of makes conversations in Christian relationship a different ballgame.


A Christian relationship is a close door relationship. By close door relationship I mean it is a relationship with boundaries to be respected, values to be esteemed and preserved, errors to be avoided, cautions to care for, interests to be protected, messages to be communicated, faith to be shared, and confessions to uphold.

By speaking with a Christian in few minutes, you could deduce a lot about that person.

God is interested in our day to day conversations. Thus, our relationship conversations must be free from corrupting talks, instead, allowing the word of Christ dwell in us richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in our heart to God. (Colossians 3:16).

In Colossians 4:6, the Word of God enjoined us to always Communicate Love, tolerance, kindness, thankfulness, Not Judgment, complaint, bitterness respectively. With our speech always gracious, seasoned with salt, so that we may know how we ought to answer each person. Our words should heal, restore, encourage and help edify one another.

The bible continued to emphasize deliberations in our speech as we see the verses below;

So speak ye, and so do, as they that shall be judged by the law of liberty.(Jas 2:12)

For the priest’s lips should keep knowledge, and they should seek the law at his mouth: for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts.(Mal 2:7)

Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.(1Ti 4:12)

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.(Eph 4:29)


  1. Open up, feel free to make mistakes, and be corrected. By opening up to another person’s beliefs, feelings, ideology, resources and personality, the unique parts of that person is added to the already defined parts of you, and these brings growth besides fostering your conversations.
  2. Speak up; air your fears and get acquiescence to carry on. Encourage a reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.
  3. Mutual responsibility in making the conversation flow. A great conversation is only initiated by who needs it, who calls for it; guys or the ladies, but maintained by the parties involved.
  4. Having a handful of stuffs to talk about. Pick instances from; Politics, sports, medicine, business, food, production, religion, news, etc.
  5. Create suspense and use Puzzles.
  6. Ask Inciting questions. Questions abounds. Ask open ended questions. You can find a good number of it in a click
  7. Imbibe the Use of jokes and good humors.
  8. Avoiding overly repetition; avoid repetition of same greeting styles, same questions, same jokes, same topics. For instance, everyday is not mean for discussing spiritual matters; sometimes talk about sports, medicine, food, business etc.
  9. Be a good listener and be sensitive to feedbacks. Watch when to twist the topic. Listening also entails focusing on the person and letting out any distractions like cell phone
  10. Making out time together, sharing activities, ideas and interests.


I hope this helps you when next you are in between needs to keep a conversation and what to say.
What to say should not make your date boring. There are a lot you can choose to say. And it is simply inexhaustible, stuffs don’t have to finish.

Let’s share your experience. Have you ever find yourself in such embarrassing moments of what to say next?



  1. Sure! Severally, but I usually find a way out, anyway. I’m highly impressed with this, think it would help many relationships.
    Communication should really be paramount if not the relationship vibe dies off slowly, I think ☝️
    But, you said it’s the one who needs it that initiates a conversation,does it mean that the one who isn’t initiating does not need it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Udochi for reading and for liking it.


    2. For Your question
      By ‘needs it’ I do not mean to imply the one whose benefits it would be or something of that sought.
      I mean one who has what to say… who has something he or she needs let out.


    3. Great to have this comment from you because it reminds of the ordeal I had to pass through when I perceived the needs to talk with you..
      Did you imagine that…


  2. To your question again
    I said that because most times here in Africa the ladies feel it’s not for them to initiate a conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Udochi Agomoh June 5, 2019 — 8:33 am

    Alright,now I get where you are coming from,was looking at it from the perspective where the guy had already done the first difficult part, per se, and they are now fully in a relationship.
    All the same,well done,dear.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close