Many Christian brothers miss their opportunities with a lady they love due to inappropriately redefining and progressively specifying their relationship statues. In most cases, many brothers are always patiently prayerfully waiting for the perfect timesand the preparedness to settle down as a prerequisite for making this move.
However, Ladies do not only watch and wait for their guys defining words like to ask them out. But they also often have other guys who unfortunately are more desperate and pressing about what they want.
It is an over assumption to think that a lady is with you because she is playing along.
WHAT THEN SHOULD PEOPLE DO TO GUARD THEIR VALUED RELATIONSHIPS?
This is simply the purpose of this article. The parties in Relationship should consciously, conveniently, and deliberately progress in their relationship status to the Glory of God.
HOW SHOULD THIS BE?
It is pertinent to emphasize the various relationship status and to highlight the proper gradations which parties in Christian relationship could take in the actualization of the full purpose of their friendship.
Classes of Christian Relationships Status
Ninety percent of young people in the peer’s group are in the single class of relationship status. Within singlehood, there are those in a relationship, and those who simply not engage but in an undefined, or complicated relationship, others are in an open relationship, while the real singles are those single but not searching, those married to Jesus or singles at heart. Meanwhile, some of the singles are searching, some are seriously searching and hoping to progress to the engaged status.
The need for a progressive relationship is all embedded within the single relationship status. Inside the single status, there are other sub statues which people in Relationship could consciously align to. These include:
- PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP
- COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP
A platonic relationship is a relationship where there are no emotional attachments. This is often the genesis of most relationships and it is the stages where it’s existence is with purposes other than futuristic ones. They are usually people who share the common interests, share common values, have gone through the same difficulties, and who support each other equally. Common relationship purposes here include;
- Friends for growing, learning and building each other.
- Friends for spiritual development, fellowship, and ministry.
- Friends for career development, partnership, and association in the given field.
- Friends in a geographical location, company or mates.
- There are also mentor friends for counsel, learning and consultation.
In this cadre of relationship, the relationship only exists as long as its purposes live. i.e; platonic relationships will always vanish when the purposes are no more. Yet platonic relationships are very key to our growth. We can’t overestimate how important good friends are to our growth in life. In fact, platonic relationships are to be esteemed more than a committed relationship. It is platonic relationships that birth committed relationships.
Within platonic relationships we have;
- Just Friends: these are like normal acquaintances.
- Good Friends: these are friends with mutual values.
- Close friends: Close friends are people you might not interact with very often but you seem to know their motives, integrity, and character, so even when you haven’t been in touch lately you feel confident speaking up for them. Close friends are very often considered like family to you.
A committed relationship is a relationship where there are defined and accepted emotional attachments. This is often the second phase of normal relationships and it is the stages where it’s existence is often with futuristic purposes. Common relationship purposes here include;
In this cadre of relationship, it’s very appropriate to initiate extinct communications that allow for the deliberate progressive definition of the relationship. A guy, for instance, could decide to ask for a committed relationship pending the engaged stage. A committed relationship in such regards could be defined to include:
- being in a relationship-change a relationship status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’
- It means a sense of commitment together in the relationship
- It means ones ‘one and only’
- It means knowing each other more.
- It means especially time to feel free to err with each other.
- It is beyond dating but it is not engaged status still.
- It means; I love you dearly And could propose to you if you show sign of the ability to take all there in you are going to see on knowing each other more…
The point in redefining a committed relationship is to put that thought in your minds in Words. The Bible book of Proverbs 25:11 rightly explained that ‘A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver’.
Wording your definition could follow the format of s poem, describing the gradation you hope for. An example is as below;
From day today
I feel my need for you the more
such is the more I feel lonely
maybe because you are not there presently
I know I have asked you many questions without waiting to get an answer
But this one
I’m kind of going to need an answer from you
Am going to appreciate a yes or no from you (even though your yes or no will not change my heart for you, it will help to inform my propositions, and the subjections I will keep my mind viz my further behaviors
Dear at this stage in my friendship with you
Am getting to feel I need more serious Relationship
So, sweetie, I want to know
Can you feel free with me?
Within committed relationships we have;
- Best Friends: Best Friend may refer to Someone with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship.
- Intimate Friends: this means a very friendly, or very personal or private relationship. The word intimate means your innermost,” friend plus a mutual interests or affections; of established friendship.
- Romantic friends: An intensely emotional love relationship between two unrelated people, in which sexuality is unimportant and typically absent, but there is greater physical affection or poetic communication than is typical for friendship
So to avoid overly assumptions, on a good day, we should ask to know the relationship status of our significant others-our friends. The funny thing is-sincere people are always proud and ready to tell their relationship status. They only wait to be asked!
We could also want to check our friends Facebook relationship status. Though the majority of persons don’t bother updating their social media on their relationship status.
At some stages in our relationships, the knowledge of our status would help us to progress or to let the relationship to diminish.
Now, this does not mean to cut people out of our lives. In fact, the first thing we want to do when we notice a relationship isn’t going to progress is to take it back to its initial purpose as in the first cadre of relationship above.
Have I done good work? Am afraid, this is a delicate issue. Please do comment, where do we adopt, where should I review?
Am A GOD LOVER, A PHYSIOTHERAPIST, A PROLIFIC WRITER, A SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR, WITH A BIASED INTEREST BUILDING A CHRISTMINDED PARADIGMS