Wrong Motives for Marriage
The church is marriage oriented-a lady walks into the church to worship God- the pastors are rather interested in prophesying to her for the perfect man. Publications about marriage in the church are celebrated like one who has made it in life. Lots of ‘marriage are good messages’ like this doesn’t allow believers to see marriage as an institution of responsibility but rather as a place for fanfare.
Our society is so programmed in such a way that it yearns to live people’s lives for them. There’s an imaginary timeline it draws for her members. For instance, in Nigeria, once a youth is done with tertiary institutions or at most after serving the fathers land in NYSC, such person is thought to be ready for marriage.
Many persons have married because of what society would say or because their friends are all married.
Some other persons marry in other to belong to a status. Not because they have seen it necessary and in favor of their life’s vision and purpose.
But are these suppose to be the motives for marriage?
To avoid the boxing effect, marriage should still be put to halt and a pause anywhere along to the altar perhaps in the course of the courtship, where it is discovered that it has a fault.
The boxing effect is the “till death do us part” oath. There is a lot of compromise in marriage, but for a healthy union, key aspects of individuals lives must be in liberty and favorable consideration in the union. Otherwise, such individuals end up being boxed for the rest of their life as they are not able to adjust and yet not able to adapt.
Very close to the boxing effect is divorce, which biblically is the worst-case scenario. People get to divorce due to an exacerbating state of Depression. When a marriage is producing just the opposite of what it suppose to produce, depression for joy; the partners involved desires death to come fast parth the marriage. When death refuses to come they run often for their lives in search of free space.
It is on this note that this article is addressed, and calling for the need to reconsider what the bible said about marriage again. The church should deliberately add to her emphasis on marriage matters the teaching of Paul on marriage in 1Corinthians 7 as well as the teaching of Jesus Christ in Matthew 19.
Paul’s Teaching on Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
The teachings of Jesus on Marriage-is it good to marry?
. . .Matthew 19:10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man is so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 19:11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. 19:12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Wright Motives for Marriage
We could say that Paul’s Teaching esteemed being single to being married and did explain marriage to be preferable and desirable only above fornication. In this advice, deciding not to marry is the gold standard.
What we’re not supposed to do is consider marriage the most important thing, without which life will be incomplete. There is only One with whom we are to be completely taken, and that is God. He made us, and we owe Him all our affections. To place anything above Him, to desire anything more than Him — even if it doesn’t look like a metal statue — is idolatry.
It is okay to not desire marriage and not live as if we are waiting for it (especially for the ladies). Jesus teaching is clear that not everyone will be able to receive this teaching. However, it is a teaching for them that are able to receive it.
The right Motives in marriage should include;
- A life partner for life purposes, meaning the two parties should have known their purpose and possibly working it out priors to marriage.
- Marriage is, by design, for God’s glory and our good.
- The relationship is to reflect the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).
- Fruitfulness; including in life’s endeavors and in hereditary.
- As witnesses to God and His examples (John 13:35).
- To help one another’s with intimacy in unity.
- Sex is for marriage. ” 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 reinforces this with the reminder, “It is God’s will that you keep away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him” (1 Thessalonians 4:3,).
It is better when marriage meets us in the way as we are busy living our lives. This will help savage a lot of false living and troubles of what the society would say.
Together we can change the society for the society is in the mind.
to Mumderah and Sowers VTN 2019 team
Am A GOD LOVER, A PHYSIOTHERAPIST, A PROLIFIC WRITER, A SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR, WITH A BIASED INTEREST BUILDING A CHRISTMINDED PARADIGMS