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How Do You Know A Perfect Person For A Committed Relationship?


We come across many persons in life. We often have so many persons in our lives too. How do we know the perfect person for a committed relationship?

Every relationship should consciously be instituted with the mindset of being committed to each other. We have tried to define what commitment in a Christian relationship connotes in my previous article.
Here, I would put it simply as being mutually responsible for the sustenance and success of one’s relationship to another.

Time check

It is possible to love somebody on the first date and be committed to it. We have many biblical examples; Adam loved Eve, at first sight, Isacc loved Rebecca, at first sight, Gen, Jacob too loved Rachel at first sight.

Actually, every human being is wired and have the construction of what beauty is and how they behold beauty. This is what often draws people together-the manifestations of their standard for beauty. This is not about physical beauty, check my article on who us truly beautiful for the definition of beauty.

However, one in a hundred persons who come together in this sense end up growing apart. This is because we have this drive of loving to get close to people because of their gifting and charisma and because they did the spectacular. When we have come to know the person personally then our desire to be with the person either begins to go downhill and in a few cases, uphill. This is quite normal because There’s no standing still in life stuff. Things either get uphill or downhill. And yet, it is very quintessential that you don’t just take things any hill.

By the basis of time, I would say we know who is committed to us in a relationship when we know who has come to stay against all odds.

Otherwise, there are times when some may think they are engaged-They might just be alone in the relationship. Time is a good test for a relationship.

Knowledge of each other

Very common reasoning in our present dispensation is that of taking time to know each other. Peoples’ character is the most deceitful aspect of a growing relationship.

The emotions are clouded, pretense is heightened, there’s lots of acting up…they look like the best persons in the world.

But there’s a place of knowing each other. Knowing their weaknesses and strength. This is the point to head for a committed relationship.

Spiritual check

A perfect person is very essentially verified in every spiritual sense. Your instincts and mind are in tune with the person. Your heart or spirit is okay with it. Your spiritual mentors and guardians are speaking well of it. You have stepped out of your observations and expectations and have sought it on the basis of the perfect will of God.

Sometimes, this is where Christians get it wrong. When we go to God seeking His permissive will rather than going submissive for His perfect will. We seek His permissive will when we already have our minds made up.

It is wrong too to come to God solely to know the perfect person. We ought to live in the perfect will of God in all area of our lives, at all times in every circumstance. Then as He said in Proverbs 4:11
I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. Psalm 16:11 You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is the fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever… He will direct us right even without us knowing.

Secondly, it is a poor attitude to act on the spiritual check alone. The spiritual check is a gold standard but it doesn’t go in isolation. A spiritual check-in place is verifiable with its consistency and positive fruits on the other checks. So after you have heard God, take your time and give your significant other time to understand too.

Love check

Love is an inevitable necessity for a committed relationship. There must be every evidence of love for each other.

I have defined love severally in my previous articles as true feeling and care for each other. The following are the evidence of love in a relationship: 1 Corinthians 13:4_8

  • Love suffers long and is kind.
  • Love envies not.
  • Love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up.
  • Love does not behave improperly.
  • Love does not seek its own.
  • Love is not easily provoked.
  • Love thinks no evil.
  • Love rejoices not in iniquity but rejoices in the truth
  • Love bears all truth, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
  • Love never fails.


Thus, you know the perfect person after you have prayed to get God’s leading and have watched to verify each other’s behaviors, checked your agreement on basic issues of life, and other measures of compatibility, etc.

Grace to you!

sunstev View All


4 thoughts on “How Do You Know A Perfect Person For A Committed Relationship? Leave a comment

  1. Wow! God bless you, Sir… This is insightful.
    I like this part most:”TIME is a good test for a relationship”
    Though, like you’ve clearly stated;all the CHECKS work together to ensure a healthy relationship,one can’t rely on just one check and forfeit others…
    Thanks a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

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