It baffles me how two persons will be friends for years or in a relationship for months, never thinking they needed to part ways until suddenly something happens and you see them label themselves as wicked, heartless and worthless just based on a single event.
I believe it’s unfair to judge someone’s character by one event and forget all others. In school all of us were never judged by a semester grade point (GP). There could be a semester we were horrible, maybe due to challenges with a course, a lecturer, accommodation, or even sickness and the notice board gives a wrong
picture of your intelligence.
The school never picks out our worst semester and use it to form their
basis for the grade of certificate to be awarded us; they take every semester equally into consideration and that is what is called a cumulative GPA (CGPA).
It takes years to build and judge. We also need to judge people close to us based on the consistency and generality of their character not on one bad act.
Many relationships suffer because the persons involved never take note of the good done as they take note of the bad actions. I have seen people want to break up for very flimsy reasons. I have seen people hold offense for years over one incident.
Someone calls you often. Helps you out when you need help.
Gives to you.
But one day, you fell ill, informed him and he never called to check up on you, he didn’t come when you
lost your relative and because it pained you, you just had to cut of “bad energy”.
But before you conclude that a person is not worth associating with, have you taken a book and write
down all the good things about that person. All the sacrifices they made for you?
When you start doing this, not only that you will have a fair judgement but you will deliver yourself
from the lies your mind feeds you.
You will have more reasons to hold a conversation with the person about what happened than holding an offense.
It’s very unfair for you to have amnesia concerning the good things people did for and to you once they
fall short of your glory. You talk about them as though they have been bad all through the years you knew them.
Whenever someone who has been good to me acts up, when I remember all the amazing things the person has done and how they outnumber the bad, I tend to make excuses for them myself.
I know that forgiveness is something we should keep giving regardless. But forgiveness becomes easier when we pay attention also to how amazing
people have been to us all along at that moment they couldn’t keep the same energy.
If you have former friends who an event ended your friendship with them, can you take a moment and
recall the amazing part of them, the times they sacrificed for you and see if you graded them cumulatively or based on one action.
Some of us have never told our friends how grateful you are to have them in our life but we will scatter
everywhere when they miss it once, and many times the persons that do this are those who are forgiven
and understood the most by their friends.
Think on it @relationshipmattersedestephen
Am A GOD LOVER, A PHYSIOTHERAPIST, A PROLIFIC WRITER, A SOCIAL ENTREPRENEUR, WITH A BIASED INTEREST BUILDING A CHRISTMINDED PARADIGMS